If you’ve ever asked me about my favorite artists, we’ve more than likely had a conversation about how much I love Panic! At the Disco. Having listened to their newest album, Pray For the Wicked, on an endless loop for the last two months, I can’t help but point out the brilliance and taste behind such a perfect concept album…
Not until we are lost do we begin to find ourselves.
I have been feeling rather weighted down lately. Part of this weight has honestly come from me dragging myself down as a result of procrastination and feeling powty about not being successful at anything.
We are all emotional hoarders. Ever think about that? Whether it be in the form of physical memorabilia that gets left in the attic, untouched until you move and reminisce on it, only to again store it in your new attic, or the emotional baggage we cling to as we live out daily lives.
I can openly admit that I am the queen of emotional hoarding. Because, why would I want to let go of my own pain, right? Then I might actually attain happiness — God forbid! I’m surprisingly good at getting rid of clothing or physical belongings that I no longer use. But that emotional baggage — loss, anxiety, heartbreak, fear — I carry that shit around like a 100 lb suitcase without wheels, just dragging against the pavement behind me as I lose energy…
Sometimes when I look at you, I feel I’m gazing at a distant star.
It’s dazzling, but the light is from tens of thousands of years ago.
Maybe the star doesn’t even exist any more. Yet sometimes that light seems more real to me than anything.